A Muddy Money Hole

I am in a financial twilight zone and there is no exit. It seems to be getting worse and worse every month. Most every one of my bills are late, and I just found out that my rent check bounced (I expected it to if it posted before I was able to secure yet another payday loan). My check register isn't exactly accurate. I'm really not motivated to keep up with it daily; why should I be when it's always bad news.

I expect that I will receive my third eviction notice sometime next week. Luckily I get paid again next Friday, so I will be able to take care of it. But that doesn't take care of the late bills piling up. To add more stress, our lease is up at the end of this month. I haven't been able to submit the application for the apartments that Dayna and I chose because I can't really afford the $40 application fee, not to mention the $200 deposit I'm going to have to come up with.

Here's the light at the end of the tunnel (provided all goes well): Grammy will be moving in with us at our new apartment; she will be paying part of the rent, which is already $130 cheaper than what we pay at our current apartment. That being said, I'll probably be saving roughly $360 a month in rent. Whew.

But to backtrack on that improvement, I'm going to be spending much more on gas commuting back and forth to work because the apartments we chose, The Belmont Apartments, are in another part of town (Houston). Compared to where we are now, which is directly behind my office, is an extreme difference! With the price of gas at its unbelievable height right now,--about $2.70 per gallon--that's going to be a hefty bill. There will probably be some tears.

For those of you who don't know me, as you'll read below, I have a wife, Dayna, our son Hudson, and...get this...twins on the way!! How can I survive in a financial situation as this? My wife and son are on Medicaid, and I'm hanging on to my mother's health coverage policy by a thread (the insurance company doesn't know that I'm married yet--nonetheless, my coverage will cease when I turn 25 in December).

Right now, I'm trying to inch my way through higher education. I can only do one or two classes a semester right now, but I want to try my best to make it through to something substantial like a degree! That's the only way I see myself digging my way out of a lifetime of paycheck-to-paycheck living, which I don't want for my family.

I'm determined to get out of the muck I'm in, believe me! But, am I able? Honestly, I've proven to myself over and over again that I'm not. Anytime I get anywhere near financial par, I start spending like I'm in first place. I simply am not a good manager of my finances, and that's a fact. I've continually sought help on the issue, but it's either a gimmick to get me to buy something, a service that I can't afford, or simply nothing. My mind is screaming out a plea to some unknown nothing, "HELP!" No one answers, because no one can hear it.

I guess I'm going to keep trying my best, for what it's worth. I'll keep looking here and there for some real substantial advice and maybe, one day, I'll find someone who really cares about my situation. Sure, if you have some advice, or know where some can be found, you're welcome to fill me in. I'll listen to what you have to say. Unless you're trying to sell Jesus; I don't have time for that bullshit and I already know all about it. I need real...substantial...advice.