Friday, December 30, 2005

So long 2005

This is the end of the year. Tomorrow is New Years Eve (and my birthday), and I hope it will be filled with celebration and reflection. After that, the clock rolls around back to the beginning and starts a new year.

2006

Sure, it will take us the whole of January and part of February to pick up the habbit of writing '06 when we write down the date.

"Oh, shit! I keep writing 05 because I'm not used to writing 06."

Well, good for you, genius.

I think I'm really going to try that New Years resolution-thingy. Except, I don't think I'll call it that. It doesn't seem to work when people call it that. The world is notorious for failing their New Years resolution. I'll call it...

vie2006
Vie, meaning "to strive for victory or superiority," can also represent an acronym encompassing three very important practices I want to implement in 2006: vigor; initiative; effort.
Much better than "I'm going to lose 10 pounds by this summer so I can wear a thong to the beach."

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Humbug! Bring on the new year!

I hope the holidays prooved worth while for you all. Since I really didn't have to put too much effort into it this year, I got as much out of it as I expected--which was not much.

I'll be honest: sure it's good to see extended family once in a while, but that's all you need, isn't it? Just a glance to make sure they're still alive, a smile and a hug to keep the "family connection", and to round the meeting off, an "it was good to see you again. We'll try to make it up to visit you sometime," (because it's the gesture that's important).

I'm glad that those moments for this year are finally over. Now I can get back to my wife, my son, and me.....and of course, my friends.

Happy Holidays everyone! And good fortune for the new year!

Monday, December 19, 2005

The Holidays: A Time for Swiping

I stowed my fabulous and classic Specialized Rockhopper bike on my patio over the weekend. I usually keep it outside of my front door (not locked up, because I don't have anything to latch it to), but I decided to put it out on the patio because I was going out to a party on Saturday night and I thought it would be safer there.

I was painfully wrong.

On Sunday morning I walked out onto my patio to see how cold it was. I came back inside oblivious. It took only a few moments to hit me......."Wait a minute!" I went out onto the patio again.

"Did you move my bike?" I asked Dayna. Her eyes widened, "Oh no!" She responded, knewing immediately what had happened.

I was so pissed that--as one could expect--it affected my mood for much of the rest of the day. It was such a great bike that I rode frequently, including to and from work. It had been given to me by a manager in my company, and I was proud of it.

It's frustrating when the holidays bring such desparation to people that they feel they must resort to stealing things from others. Even those who can't really afford to buy all the bullshit that they see on television and at their malls are consumed by materialism.

I tried to look at the positive side of the situation: maybe it would be given to a child who doesn't have a bike and would really love it; maybe someone sold it and with the money is able to buy much-needed food for their family.

I'm going to start saving to purchase a new bike sometime in early spring (here's the bike I want). But from now on I'm leaving nothing to chance.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

No porcelain god worshipping.

Jake's response to Champagne, SoCo, Vomit, and Blood:

OH MY MY MY!!!

What a fun time you had...this was simply hilarious!!! I hate when things like that happen with "the drink."

So you didn't or did worship "the porcelain god"??? Where there praise songs GALORE???

My response to Jake:

Actually no, no porcelain god.

Dayna filled our plastic orange trash can from the bathroom with a tid-bit of water and placed it by the bed. Every time I needed to "discharge", I leaned over and let it all out. Dayna -- such a sweetheart taking care of Daddy -- poured and rinsed the trash can out, filled it with a tid-bit more water, and returned it once again to my bedside.

Then she dabbed my face and neck with a cool, damp washcloth. She also made sure I had water to drink and had me drink some each time. After that she covered me back up and nudged me gently back into hangover dreamland. All while having to listen to and tolerate my constant moaning and groaning. (I told her later that the moaning and groaning actually made my stomach feel better and that's why I was doing it.)

Isn't she the best wife??

Monday, December 12, 2005

Champagne, SoCo, Vomit, and Blood

It started out innocent enough. We acquired a bottle of champagne from my office that had been sent to celebrate our company reaching $200 million in sales for the year. My manager was in Los Angeles at the time and said that Dayna and I were welcome to take the champagne home and enjoy it ourselves.

That we did. But we held off until Saturday night. Dayna was eager to pop it open and when I sat down she poured me a flute. It didn't take long for us to strap on a happy, bubbly buzz; nor for us to reach the bottom of the bottle.

My buzz was so cheerfully wonderful and I hadn't had one like it in quite a while so I wasn't going to let it get away from me. There was a tempting bottle of Southern Comfort in the refrigerator from the night before (not mine, long story), which I was happy to employ. Dayna told me that I really didn't need any of that and that I shouldn't drink it; I wouldn't hear of it.

Sip......sip.......sip......sip.......sip......sip...... I lost count of them.....sip.......

A walk from the living room to the kitchen was like a rollercoaster (so fun). Then to the bathroom, then to the bedroom, and back to the kitchen. I was so drunk that I didn't know what I was doing.

Finally Dayna and I made it to the bedroom to try and have a little magic, but we didn't make it far. It wasn't long before I was laying on my stomach mumbling incoherent complaints about how the Southern Comfort was making my stomach so un-comfortable. It sounded something like this:

I.....no......my stom....I......nee.....my stom.....trash.......no.....ughh....ughh....

Luckily Dayna speaks drunk because she was already bringing the trash can to the side of the bed. As soon as she sat it down I was obliged to discharge, and boy did I discharge.

I did that at least a half-dozen times throughout the rest of the night and into the morning. So many times that twice my nose started bleeding. It was sooooo horrible. At about 10:00am on Sunday morning I got called in to my office for an emergency order. Oh, it was hell. I couldn't believe that it was happening. I felt like a piece of ruined meat.

After we took care of the order we came home and I spend much of the rest of the day in bed trying to sleep it off. It wasn't until about 4:30 Sunday afternoon that I was feeling stable enough to get out of bed and eat something.

I can live the rest of my life perfectly happy and never taste Southern Comfort again.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Addicted to Literature

An interesting fact about me that I realized last night. Check this out.

List of [non-children's] books read from December 31, 1981 to July 31, 2005:
  1. The Outsiders
  2. To Kill A Mockingbird
  3. The Lessons of St. Francis
  4. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (that was enough of that)

List of [non-children's] books read from August 1, 2005 to December 1,2005:

  1. The End of Faith
  2. Censored 2005
  3. Bushwhacked
  4. The God Gene
  5. The DaVinci Code

...And I am currently in the middle of a book titled Emotional Intelligence, which I should finish by next weekend.

I find it odd that I had little interest in reading books all throughout my adolesence, but once I started reading vigorously back in August, I haven't been able to stop. When you start reading books, it becomes "habit forming." I love it. I encourage you to pick up a good book and plow right into it.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Time to hit the books

I'm almost there now. I'm going to Houston Community College at 9:00am next Wednesday to take the Compass assessment test. Then, I'm back for a visit to the enrollment counselor to schedule my classes. Fantastic! I'm going to be stoked to get back into a classroom.

A little detour

Our last remaining goldfish is a little sick. Her name is Bubbles, and she's been a fighter from the beginning. She's survived what we could only guess to be chicken pox, mumps, influenza, lock-jaw, vinerial disease, and now, chronic obesity (and we've been pretty frugal with the Cheerios). What a mess! She's so big that she can't swim well anymore.

She's been through so many ailments that we are considering ways to put her out of her mysery. I suggested feeding her tons and tons of fish food until she dies of a heart attack. Dayna suggested we just put her in a plastic bag, put a towel over it, and smash her with a big, heavy book. "That would be the quickest way, right?"

Any suggestions???